Do No Harm


Feeding off the faith of my god complex I skillfully removed toilets, cell phones, and frogs from the comical non-anesthetized slob who had wondered into my surgical theater. Thanks to Medicare I was milking this cash cow with golden tweezers. That is until I tried for the giggles lodged inexplicably in the sap's right shoulder. His bulbous nose went into erratic illuminated fibrillation. There was nothing I could do; I stomped on his chest anyway. Don't you die on me! Not today! Not here, not at my nephew's 5th birthday party! Live dammit, live! But my turn, my career, my godlike power over death, was finished.